Last Night Blue

Vertical vs. Horizontal nightlife photography

2011-09-26T14:40:00.000-07:00

This is an extremely pointless and highly opinionated topic to blog about, but here it goes.

I think vertically photographed nightlife pictures look dumb.

I mean no offense to anyone who typically shoots their nightlife vertically. It’s not the end of my world – I just never do it myself. Here’s why:

It makes sense that to want to capture someone’s entire fuzzy pink and glittery raver legwarmer, as well as their torn, glowstick-stained fishnet ensemble. However, I can’t see a damn thing that’s going on in the background.

Photo by Emerald Roots, I think the name is. This is an example of what I mean. It tells a story about the person, but I'm not quite sure what is happening or where this person is. I want to see some crazy seizure-inducing rays of light or Nero in all his glory making magic in the background.

I don’t know about most people who view nightlife galleries. Maybe I'm just judgmental and picky, but I am thoroughly interested in what kind of event this insanely costumed person stumbled into. In my honest opinion, a nightlife photograph is supposed to be an artistic portrayal of the event itself, not necessarily a means of generating ample Facebook profile picture material for the people who were there. Although, killing two birds with one stone isn’t anywhere near impossible.

This does not bother me. Generally, you'd need one hell of a wide-angle lens or at least a full frame body to pull something like this off, but AJ Apuya won. The distortion even looks great.

I mean.. Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of ways to successfully photograph an artistic vertical picture in a club. I’m more so complaining about those close-up pictures where the photographer ends up distorting their subject by trying to fit everything into their ultra-wide angle, or when they only snap a waist up shot. And that said, you can achieve those waist up shots a hell of a lot more sexily if you were to just back up/zoom out a little.

Good. Angled interestingly, there's pretty spinning lights, and I can sort of tell what else is going on judging by the blurred out dude in the leopard hat and bath robe hanging out in the background.

Keep in mind when posting nightlife images on sites like Facebook and Flickr that vertical images tend to get significantly more resized than the horizontal ones do due to height caps. That’s the other reason why I think vertical images tend to look so dumb. Size-wise on blogs, they’re freaking great.

It’s my own personal opinion, but unless carefully thought about, I feel most vertical nightlife photographs just end up looking like snapshots.

More AJ Apuya from Identity Festival 2011. Really makes me want to grab a press pass for next year. Or sell out and try to weasel my way into USC's photo geek family.

Dear Livenation

2011-07-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Livenation.com,

I am a poor, starving artist who aids old folks with simple computer issues and occasionally photographs drunk kids as a means of gaining currency. This small, yet still reasonable amount of money (I suppose), keeps my caprese salad ingredients in the fridge and the overpriced tallboy of Rainier on the grimy bar table in front of me two to three times a week. However, when it comes to purchasing concert tickets, scraping the pennies together to afford a piece of paper that gives me one days worth of no re-entry access to a steaming cesspool of shirtless, glistening bros fist pumping to Rusko music does not come so easily.

That said, perhaps you can imagine my how my heart shattered when I saw a friend’s Facebook status update exclaiming how Identity Festival’s ticket prices had dropped to $20 as of this morning. Correct me if I am wrong, but typically in the ticket world “early bird prices” were put on this earth by the concert and festival jesus gods themselves in order to provide ticket sales companies with immediate revenue months before an event by those supportive, diehard fans who want lower prices.

I am writing this letter to express my eternal repugnance toward this ass backwards situation. I understand you may be short on ticket revenue this year due to the fact that, quite frankly, the Identity Festival lineup mostly sucks, that Skrillex coincidentally skipped out on the majestic Washington State Gorge location, and that Steve Aoki may not even be there to pie a fat white girl in the face in the front row rolling on multiple uppers every time the bass drops. However, I want you to know that I think the fact I could potentially now purchase my boyfriend’s and my tickets for $10 less than what I paid for a single ticket is a bunch of palookie.

You have destroyed what it means to have an “early bird special” to festival hoppers all around, and you have to live with that.

Scornfully,

Me

P.S. - I still haven't received my tickets in the mail that your lying sack of shit of an email promised me two months ago and remain butthurt about it.

Thank you, Sam, for giving me the opportunity to be a successful, wealthy rapper for one night

2011-06-24T15:14:00.001-07:00

I would quite honestly love to be able to explain to you what was happening here, but with gas-guzzling stretch hummer access for the night, playing it safe in the zone of sobriety wasn’t exactly at the top of my list of ways to spend my Tuesday night.

Sam Boyer finally became a man when he turned 21 years old this Tuesday, and he had the older sister-purchased limousine for all his friends to prove it. The poor driver, Tim.. or Jim.. I’m not sure anymore, picked up about sixteen drunkards and shipped us off to the blackout abyss that was Capitol Hill. And afterward, dumped everyone off in all their helpless drunkenness off outside of Earl’s, which supposedly was just shot up last weekend, and took off.

Sam, I want you to know that I have the last 1/3 your triple threat whiskey gift. I salvaged it from the wreckage. (It was in the limo cooler).

Down The Rabbit Hole...

2011-05-27T15:00:00.001-07:00

I didn't even write about that little MISSED CONNECTIONS shindiggery at The White Rabbit that one Saturday night, but I said I was going to write about cool shit to do around the city so now's the time to start.

I've been shooting at this bar/dance club like place called The White Rabbit which is located right Fremont. Their website is here: click me click me I'm a link to a website! This is probably one of the best times I've consistently had at a bar since photographing during the Waid's era. There's always a DJ (typically Raul Vasquez) so loud sound to set the mood is never an issue. Not to mention the drinks are extremely decently priced and there's a nice little outdoor balcony and seating area for us kids who like the cancer sticks. I also love the lighting. Because it is blue.

Anyway, you should probably go to this bar next time there's an event. Especially during the day on June 18th because apparently there is going to be a plethora of naked bikers rolling around the streets and that is just something we cannot possibly miss out on.

twenty-two

2011-05-06T19:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I turned twenty-two. Yeah, my birthday is on cinco de mayo. No, there was not a sombrero or taco in sight. Coincidentally, Cinco de Mayo this year was on first Thursday, which means artwalk. I was able to hang my "birthday" series that I did and supply the gallery-goers with the ash ridden cake (from our failed attempt at sparkler candle photography) that Leta de Edmonds Bakery had baked for the shoot. My adoring mother, father, and uncle also brought me a cake with way sicker sparkler candles than the ones I had bought myself and endured me and my drunk friends for about an hour. Oh, what a family.

My ghetto Poquitos review
I know I said I'd start writing about cool shit to do in Seattle, so I'll start. Right here, right now. By the time the artwalk was over, I had definitely cut myself off of camera-wielding privileges, so I have no photographs to back up what I'm about to say about Poquitos on the hill.. I am almost certain that Poquitos was the long lost sexier, more intelligent and mature cousin of Cha Cha Lounge and. Poquitos was essentially a metaphorical Kristofferson Fox, coming out of nowhere and just kicking ass at just about everything. They finally opened up the back indoor patio, which was a spacious, had plenty of places to stand and sit around the perimeter, and a fat chunk of island bar in the very middle. Not to mention the walls are just windows so you have ample opportunity to make faces at the drunk kids walking out of Havana.

Then again, I was drunk. I could have dreamt it all, and it might actually just be a really stupid bar.

*** Special thanks to Leanne and Emil for providing me with enough alcohol for me to not actually be sure if it even existed in the first place... And a big e-smooch to all who made it out and had as much fun as I did last night. Thanks for eating all that cake so I didn't have to deal with it.

Birthdays, birthdays everywhere

2011-04-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

Melanie had her 21 run this Friday, which was a damn blast even though we didn't exactly "run". It was more like a beer and dine at Smith and then a short but sweet trip to Cha Cha Lounge. I didn't eat anything at the restaurant, but I had a bite of the salad from there and, well, I definitely approve and will be going there again ASAP. Also, a very special, special thanks to Melanie's step father for picking up the ENTIRE tab. We all appreciate your generosity. All 20 of us. Really, we do. You're a champ and we love you.

I think I am going to start photographing cocktails and foods and posting them up on here so this blog isn't so redundant and a repeat of everything you see on Facebook.

I also wanted to start taking portraits of people like the following. Just against walls and whatnot. It would be fun to do some "artistic" nightlife portraits like these and perhaps put them in a gallery showing eventually. An exhibition of drunken personalities, so to speak.

Ed can REALLY.. REALLY paint.

And it was Ryan Lobe's birthday as well.

Fartwalk

2011-04-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

I'm bored of Last Night Blue blue filter. It's dumb and repetitive and just makes everything look like some one who can't adjust white balance photographed it. So I decided to try and make the ugliest possible series of color filters possible and came up with this purple and cyan and blue monstrosity. I like it better.

Rappers with Sharpies

2011-04-09T12:25:00.000-07:00

It took Leanne and I a lifetime to figure out where this house was. It really doesn't help that the city of Seattle decided to mark two homes with the number 601 at either side of the block. You can imagine our confusion when we pull up to a dark, quiet house with no movement that looks like something only my rich grandparents would be able to afford. But after a shot at Cha Cha, we got smarter and our party instincts sharpened so we figured we ought to take a look around the block. And low and behold, a drunk Nigel awaits atop a doorstep.

Also, the beer was great.

Epic win, or epic fail?

2011-03-20T11:52:00.001-07:00

Dear butthole,

This is what I came back to after a quick outing at Boka Kitchen + Bar with my boyfriend last night. A shattered window and a bunch of random papers and crap scattered everywhere. I see you kindly moved my empty dusty, and frankly quite disgusting vintage camera bag from the back window area to my front seat. Also, you stole my iPod Nano, which may as well be vintage too considering it was released in September 2007, so you could listen to Ellie Goulding and the new Miley Cyrus song that I have taken a liking to. Thanks. I had to listen to that CD that has been in my car since last summer, which I am absolutely sick of, all the way home.

But most of all, I want to write you this letter so I could post the photograph I took with my new 5D Mk II, a 17-40mm L, and a Promaster 7500EDF + Gary Fong that had been chillin' underneath my ratty peacoat in the back seat the entire time you were making a mess of my personal space, you strange fuck.

Also, thanks for leaving the tube of medical marijuana in the glovebox. It really helped calm my nerves later that evening and made my pita and hummus comfort food taste excellent.

Scornfully but pridefully,

Jaki

Beer Braised Bluntwraps

2011-03-19T15:12:00.000-07:00

I forgot to wear green to a St. Patrick's Day party, but luckily I arrived around the time people were creating grogg out of the tail ends of PBR and Rainier into a plate and drinking it so I didn't get pinched too bad. Everyone was too focused on the spill failure and soaked blunt wraps. Yeah oops.

And then Deejay fell and broke a glass.

Also, shooting with my 5D and a not piece of crap lens was the best idea ever, and will continue to be.

NARK!

2011-03-17T13:42:00.000-07:00

I was looking at some pictures from Bowiemas VII randomly and came across these amazing nightlife photographs that were signatured as "NARK". I researched it and it came up as a Seattle-based magazine, so I have no idea who the stranger is behind the lens, but my god.. What an inspiration. He/she is wonderful! The light streams and dramatic flash work is awesome. If you're interested in nightlife photography, you must check these out.

All photographs by NARK.

I just love how much energy they capture in their photographs, not to mention the wide variety of what seem like different color fill stains added to each.

Check out NARK's Facebook page here: http://www.facebook.com/narkmagazine

Leta's part one twenty-one run

2011-03-09T10:58:00.001-08:00

I am going to try and keep this a bit more updated, and make it a little bit nicer-looking and organized. I just upgraded to a Canon 5D and a 17-40 f/4, and I hope to take some nicer photographs. The 50D is still my beater camera and the 5D most likely won't be coming out too often, as it's my camera for my professional work and I fear something happening to it. But here's a little bit of what my new team can pump out :)

Leta turned twenty-one yesterday. We haven't gone on an official run yet - that happens tomorrow night for Thirsty Thursday. But we did drag her to the Loft in Edmonds for a pear martini and birthday tiramisu.

Why u so mad, thedirty.com?

2010-12-20T14:28:00.001-08:00

why. u. so. mad.

The Stranger's "Drunk Of The Week": See Ya, Assholes!!!

2010-11-24T14:13:00.000-08:00

I just had to share The Stranger's "Drunk Of The Week" article by F. LOKO, WATERMELON. In loving memory of my main source of bodily energy for August 2009. Rest in pieces, shitstain.

photo by KELLY O.

"Last month, the only folks who gave a shit about me were kids and skanks and hobos. BUT LOOKIT ME NOW, MOTHERFUCKERS! Now I'm a hotter property than a Birkin bag stuffed with Glenn Beck–inflated gold! And look at you trendy shits, racing to and fucking fro trying to track down the last of me before your stupid statewide ban hits. When you couldn't find me at Eastlake Market, you got back in your car and drove over to that 7-Eleven on Stone Way, and when I wasn't there, you went all the way over to Madrona, to that deli-mart place. You didn't even wanna hang out with me, until it was too late. Now I'm eighty-sixed from everywhere, the ENTIRE state, 'cause those pussies over at Central Washington University don't know how to party. Good luck with your nanny state, you bunch of fucking ninnies. Bitchez don't know what you got till it's gone."

This shit is going to be the next Beanie Baby and Pokémon trading card game sensation. I should have stocked up and made millions and frat houses and high school parties. I fucked up.

Parallel at Capitol Club

2010-11-08T20:24:00.000-08:00

I've been lazy for no reason at all and hadn't gotten around to editing photos from last Wednesday's (11.03.10) little dance party at Capitol Club. I have to say, it truly felt like old times dancing to Parallel and feeling that energy I just don't seem to feel anymore when I go out to parties or venues. Skylar's something else.

Not to mention I really, really, really like Capitol Club. It definitely needs to go on my Foursquare To-Do list (and by the way, add me so we can stalk each other all over the city).

Last Night Blew

2010-10-20T14:20:00.000-07:00

I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus. Not because I don’t get asked to shoot, or not because your ruder than average also “photojournalist” photographer outside the bar wants to gripe about how I post less than desirable photos of her on Facebook.. But because I’ve just been lazy. I either wake up at 8 and go to class in Everett until it’s time to work, or go to work until it’s time for class. We’re looking at a 10-12 hour day of driving and melting my eyes in front of computer monitors five days a week. By the time the weekend comes, I’m sick of living life through a viewfinder for homework and practicing with flash lighting techniques and just don’t want to bother. I know... strange reading about how I do more than troll Cha Cha Lounge and photograph attractive girls at bro bars for publicity and social approval.

Nightlife photography isn’t a lifestyle, or a means of gaining social status for me. It’s honestly just a hobby. I enjoy meeting exciting people and immortalizing memories, which is something I never cared to do until about a year ago. I regret not taking pictures at younger years, because the good times I’ve had this past year are really the only ones I can remember this vividly. That said, it pleases me to know by photographing the good times, I’m keeping a photographic journal for my friends and acquaintances as well.

First things first, I am going to start writing in my blog more. I highly doubt people are interested in reading all my mumbojumbo, but why not make a stronger effort to connect with people in other ways than a status update about how Baltic Room has no cover ‘til 11 and is going to be hype this Friday.

Secondly, I don’t think anyone understands the “Last Night Blew” pun, so the second I go back to my graphic design class or get ahold of a drawing pad, I’m going to make a signature that makes a little more sense.

SOME ONE THROW A FREAKNIK-THEMED PARTY

2010-07-01T14:49:00.000-07:00

I just want to say that UPS finally dropped my flash on my doorstep this afternoon. Yeap. The day after the AC Slater palookie that went on at HG Lounge that I attempted to photograph using a pop-up flash and a torn napkin as a diffuser. Awkward. Embarrassing. I looked like one of those teen punks who shows up at the local band shows with their Nikon d40 and tries to get shit done for their photography album on Myspace. And don't get me wrong, I totally support budding photographers, but having been there done that, I know how un-confident those teeny boppers feel.
I am not nearly as confident in my ability to do anything as I am about nightlife photography. And putting myself in a position where I had to struggle and re-take photos of the impatient drunk community was balls. And then there's that guy with the nice flash and the battery grip (wait why? so heavyz) bahh.

Enough blab. The flash is back. Some one throw a Freaknik party. Booty in the trees.

Other Nightlife Photographers

2010-05-02T14:12:00.001-07:00

I can't tell you how many times I'm at an event, and some chap with a big camera and an over-sized flash, as well as some oddly-shaped white box on top of it approaches me. "What kind of camera is that?"
"Who are you shooting for?"
"Oh, are you photographing this event, too?"

It is one of my biggest pet peeves. Those outside of the photographic world probably don't have any clue, but nightlife photography is as bad as Animal Planet. They try to take a territorial piss wherever they go. It's just unhealthy.

Photographers feel threatened by photographers as though there is some sort of competition. In reality, they asked you and I to show up for one reason: they want as many pictures as they can possibly get so they can make their event look like it kicked ass. They are going to use EVERYTHING you post, and EVERYTHING I post. Maybe you'll have better exposure than me in some of yours, and perhaps I'll capture some one at a better moment than you did.

It isn't a competition. It's a team effort.

Lemme just blog about SAY WHAT for a sec, okay

2010-04-19T21:33:00.000-07:00

I don't blog about anything anymore. Probably because I have like thirty thou blogs that I update regularly, plus I've made this recent switch to Tumblr and I just think Blogspot is straight ugly. But lemme blog about SAY WHAT because I think it is important to the 18+ party-going community of the city of Seattle.

Also I think I should mention I forgot to include the SAY WHAT!? logo because I am a failbot and made a new Photoshop workflow, and completely forgot to add it in. Dur.

The third SAY WHAT exceeded my expectations. I mean, really. I rolled in with my boyfriend and two of my best friends and lost my shit to Truckasaurus and some dude freestyling about how I was flash banging him with the camera or something. I had a damn. good. time. The music was suuupeerrrb, lemme tell 'ya, and everyone was mad hype on electronic music. Plus the pictures turned out kick ass. And I am so amped for May 27th because I plan on being completely bojangled, as I'm finally busting out of Kinder Care and graduating to the raisin factory with the rest of you 21+ on May 5th. And oh god, oh god.. Not to mention PARALLEL VS. FORESIGHT. The loves of my life with their dubstep ear sex.

But don't worry, I'll still be on the dance floor plenty to aid anyone in need of a diaper change. And to take pictures, derp.

Anyway, got the opportunity to meet a few people.. I guess this guy let some bro touch his ballsack through the hole in his jeans for this clown mask. This apparently went down at The Wild Rose so keep this in mind next time you think it's worth a ball dingle for a huge cardboard face.

I honestly didn't think anyone liked steet meat as much as I did. It is my new found obsession. If you haven't put some cock sauce and cream cheese on a fat hot link, you're an idiot and need to get to it. Just look what it does to women.

This would be the result of me telling Naffie to "do something kick ass", which apparently means make the most horrible, terrifying face you can possible come up with in under .5 seconds.

lols.

My D.I.Y. Hooker Ad: The Craigslist Experience

2010-04-06T16:26:00.000-07:00

A few of you may have heard somewhere on the grapevine or through one of my infuriated status updates about my horrible plan to put a hooker ad on Craigslist. I will admit that after I received over 100 emails from 87 different men, I had my regrets.

I'll tell you right now that I wasn't trying to find companionship on the intertubes - I've already got that covered anyway, but a week of emails blowing up my Blackberry was more than enough entertainment for my otherwise quiet spring break. Not to mention I just have nothing interesting to blog about these days, so I figured I'd share some of the best and the worst responses I got with all of you. However, for the most part, I am going to only post quotes because there are just too many.

For starters, I would love to show you my original post, but I deleted it from the web page and can't seem to locate it anywhere in my Gmail inbox. However, I'll have you know I tried to sound as absolutely dreadful as possible, and spat some rubbish about how I hated unplugging electronics from hard to reach places and pumping gas. Never at any point did I mention wanting to meet some one. In fact, the most I said was that I wanted some one's Polish mother to make me pierogi. I also mentioned I was an adamant WoW player, and specifically request you put the word "butterscotch" somewhere in your email so I knew you weren't a toolbot.

NOTE: If you're offended by any of the following, I just want you to know that I find it very strange considering everyone on Craigslist is a robot. Robots can't feel.

--------------------

First off, I would like to award this fellow here, whatever his name is, at least an honorable mention for his dickishness and unwillingness to use the word "butterscotch" at any point in his email:

- "i think you are a talentless skinny whore that is utterly uninteresting. that god for people like you so that i have some kind of entertainment when reading that shit on this site. your friends look like losers. your right about one thing weed is awesome and MMMGGAALS;s are for losers too. you hipster pice of shit."

Apokteinos Ambrotos, what is going on with your name? You claim to be a Pole, and that sounds so horribly greek and horrible like you're trying to role-play magic with me over the internet or something. You said lol approximately nine times in your email response (I don't want to have to count twice) and you abbreviated the word "next" with "nxt". Furthermore, you look like the Passion of Christ.

Chris gets points for MVP hobby choices of hooker page-trolling and wood-pushing, as well has his confidence to be more awesome than me.

- "I love the hooker pages and don't take much of craigslist seriously. I spend most of my time pushing a piece of wood on four wheels around. And I am pretty awesome. Possibly more so than you."

Keith Vance, if you don't stop being crazy right this minute, I swear I am going to have to go on lockdown. I mean jesus christ on a bike.. You sound like you're more dreadful than I am. And your email had nothing to do with anything.

- "The most fucked up thing I ever saw was 4 people sitting in a coffee shop wearing fake glasses discussing the honesty of a Bjork album. What are you doing with your friday night? I normally go to this thing...I can't really talk about it, not even with other members.

Yesterday I spent plotting the logistics of a real life bank robbery. I have so few friends these days that no one would recognize me. A couple of weeks ago I had a short stint collecting money door to door for charity. One of my work evenings consisted of me sitting in a Seattle metro park in the dark making up fake names to match with real addresses. I don't mind pumping my own gas, but I most certainly am not happy about paying for it.

I don't blink very often, I have the thought patterns of a sociopath, and I'll most certainly point out how boring everything is."

Manny, buddy… I gotta give you some kudos for having quite possibly one of the worst Jersey Shore responses to go along with your Jersey Shore and Guidorade photo that you attached.

- "You rock, I rock, let's rock."

I pity Galen Davis's confusion about putting butterscotch somewhere in his response to me.

- "Oh for fuck sake, you write just three paragraphs and I already can’t stand you. Furthermore, it really pisses me off that you’re already telling me what to do and how to behave, and we haven’t even met – “put butterscotch in the subject line.” How the hell am I supposed to do that? What do I do, pour syrup in my computer monitor vents."

I loved the shit out of Jong, mainly because his attached picture of him throwing up the peace sign while holding computer parts and for the sole fact he looks like a chunky, jolly asian. I also really appreciated his attached history lesson about how Pierogi came to be via Korean brutal invasion in Europe.

- "I am not polish but I am Korean. Instead of pierogis you'll have to settle for dumplings. When my ancestors raped and pillaged across the Eastern Europe for fun and profit, they also forced the local women into making them some dumplings which later led to pierogis. So in way they are the same thing while being utterly different."

Dylan, for your horrible frat boy picture that you sent to me in .png format for whatever god forsaken reason, but also very blunt response.

- "I'm not really looking for a relationship, because then I'd have to say "oh yeah, we met on craigslist...". I'd prefer being good friends. You're pretty cute though so let's not rule out fuckbuddies. Butterscotch. I go to UW and I'm studying electrical engineering. I hate engineers though, they're fucking boring."

Epic Winner:

Greg Russell just takes the entire cake for his clever use of wording, horrible charm, and thinking I was a robot. I really don't know what else to say. Also, he extended an invitation to repair my titless photography website free of charge at a Seattle coffee shop, but that sounded like either a death or rape situation.

- Email 1:"My friend sent me your link and told me to reply to it. I told him to fuck off, but then I started drinking and thought what the hell...
You won't like me, hell you probably won't even reply to me, but here we go anyway. I'm an ugly, smart, 6 foot tall, 155 pound fleshy bag of not giving a shit. I'm usually dirty and unshaven although I can't grow a full beard. A typical night for me is getting stoned, drinking beer, and making websites(that's my job - working from home is the shit) on my computer in my small loud 1st floor apartment in First Hill. I'd never trust you and probably wouldn't call you, even if we were friends. I am, however, good at reaching the tangled cables of electronics from even the most abysmal locations, and I like the smell of gasoline, furthermore I'm good at computer stuff of all kinds (I know how all of the ladies love that). You like old antiques, well I'm 27 I think that counts. I hate drunk teenagers, I don't play video games and have no religion - not even that guy you listed who I've never heard of. I can cook like a motherfucker though. Normally I don't like socializing with people unless I'm drunk in which case I like it a bit too much, other people not so much. Here is a picture of my stupid face which is less hideous than most pictures of me. I took it the other day.
I'm not Polish either."

And I can't leave out the second email he wrote me about what makes the website I stole my coding from better than my version.

- Email 2: "Here and I thought that everyone on craigslist was a robot. I still have my suspicions.
I'm only that big of a toolbag in my own mind, as I've somehow managed to delude my friends and the people who pay me money to think I'm quite splendid some of the time.
I looked up your website partly from professional curiosity, partly because I can. It was easy to find A) from you name in the email and B) because the craigslist pictures were watermarked 'last night blue' which turns up a lot of google links.
I can't help but notice that you totally stole this guy's website design.
I can tell because your site links to his style sheet and javascript and because half of the markup is in Spanish (which is what they speak in Argentina where he is from). I don't care that you stole it, like Picasso said 'Good Artists Borrow, Great Artists Steal'.
I like his a little bit better for a couple reasons:
1) the links (info, contact) actually work
2) the drop shadows on the galleries is cooler looking on his site
3) he has a lot more work up some of which has tits
4) the link on your site to the 'dead pretty' gallery doesn't work and it sounded like the coolest gallery"

Epic Failure:

Ugh.. Mr. Green.. It was really originally a toss up between him (Rob) and this Greg fellow for best responses. I just want to hand Mr. Green some serious brownie points for his efforts. I called him out on some rubbish I would have otherwise considered bullshit last minute googling to impress a Craigslist hooker, but he backfired with pristine Deadmau5 knowledge as well as photograph proof of drinking red wine right in front of my ad. However, he fucked up the first place spot and fell to dead last when he started rapid fire sending me emails about sex, and then being disgustingly apologetic about coming on too strongly. Upon not responding immediately, he sent a good three or four more emails saying some mumbojumbo like, "I'll fuck off, I guess…" and when I finally told him I was seeing some one and a journalist, he seemed genuinely heartbroken.

Email 1: "Deadmau5 is great. I love the sample "I'm going to allow your planet to live out the rest of its miserable existence as one of my satellites and that's the way its going to be." I know that's probably not the exact quote, but I'm close enough.

So I'm going to finish my glass of red wine and wait to see if you respond."

- Email 7: "So no worries. I'm not really interested in sex before getting to know you or anyone. "
- Email 8: "I don't know its a strange topic for me too I guess. No worries, we really don't have to talk about it, I haven't even met you yet."
- Email 9: "I didn't hit you up because I wanted sex. I hit you up because I found you attractive and you seemed to share the same attitude as I do on the topics you shared. I do love kissing though."

My response: "I'm seeing some one at the moment."

- Email 12: "I'm not changing my answer though, I like sex, but I want it to be with someone I know and feel good about. I'm an honest but manipulative person, so you will find I can see through a lot of what people say and do. So if you are seeing someone should I even bother trying to get to know you and go on a date(s) with you?"
- Email 13: "Okay well have a good night, hit me up if you want me to join the fun. If not I hope to talk to you soon :)"
- Email 14: "ugh this wine made my stomach kill."
- Email 15: "So did I kill my chances last night?"
- Email 16: "Guess so,I'll fuck off"
- Email 17: "Please.. I'd really, really like to take you out just once."

My response: "Dates, probably not. I'm a journalist, really, that's why I wrote the ad in the first place and why I sounded so damn bitter. I'm very happy with my lover for the time being."

Fuck you, lady

2010-03-27T15:37:00.001-07:00

Fuck you, lady. That's just toast in an empty plastic container engulfed in a sea of cotton balls.

The whole lot of nothing something the three of us did last night

2010-03-26T13:28:00.000-07:00

I have no kick ass blue-tinted photograph to go with this entry (minus the photo booth picture we'll probably never have scanned), but I just want to say I had a grand ol' time with Boice and Bouph last night at Cha Cha sitting at a table with a pitcher of beer that some one left behind that was realistically probably piss and talking to lizard-looking babes all night long.

Oh, and the cream cheese street meat was amazing, thanks to Tony.

Fuck me for not bringing a camera.

Teaching children how to flirt with bar babes

2010-03-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

I think the last time I actually went out was over eight days ago. Billy was in town, and this so-called "blue crew" and I flocked to Cha Cha Lounge on the hill. And I was bored sick and disgusted by the broverload.

As Bernisa and I are sitting by ourselves in attempt to "claim" one of the center tables, she gets up and tells me she will be right back. So I'm sitting there. Alone. And a kid who looks about fourteen approaches me, sits in the vacant seat, and tries to make small talk with me, two which I respond, "Why hello, stranger." I must've intimidating him with my icy glare, because he told me he wasn't sure what to do next. So I proceeded to tell him, "I think you're supposed to start a conversation." After walking him through flirting with random bar babes, he said, "Do I buy you a drink now?"
"Yes, yes I think you do."
"Okay, don't go anywhere." He comes back moments later, "Never mind.. I have no money."

Fail.

Since then, regardless of whether or not it was the fourteen year-old's fault, I've been plenty content snuggling up and watching gladiators sex each others' brains out on Spartacus. Suck on a bottle of wine, maybe. But I'm out of season 1 episodes on Netflix. Balls.

Last night, Tony and I decided we would try to go meet artistic babes who needed to be lectured in the "art of slaying", and I'm pretty sure we both passed out before 9. So tonight. Tonight, I will go out. And get drunk. And say silly, regrettable things.

Because it's been a while.

The united states of american apparel

2010-02-21T21:24:00.000-08:00

It's Wednesday night. I am stone sober, and I am feeling rather anti-social. My closest friends are crowded around their table on the far wall. Me? I am behind the DJ booth with Parallel and Foresight. Standing there. Not speaking. Not wanting to speak. Tonight is a weird night. I don't do this often.
I leave and drive in circles around the hill, but not before hitting one of the band's tour vans I have parallel parked in front of. Bah. My head's somewhere else tonight. A friend gives me a call and tells me to come to this apartment building, which just so happens to be the home of my dreams. Ivy crawls up the sides as though it's a Parisian abode. Inside, it smells of cigarettes. Everyone is in their underwear, out of their mind drunk, and a girl with tape over her nipples is asking me for hugs.
I drink two beers, my flash is scaring the shit out of the dog, and an acquaintance is telling me about American Apparel and Dov and how he is a creep who fucks his models. We fool around on Chatroulette in a walk-in closet, because it surprisingly has more light than anywhere else in the apartment. And then, for lack of a familiar place to sleep, I drive home.

SAY WHAT!? Opening Event

2010-02-19T18:17:00.000-08:00

Where were YOU last night? If you were spending your Thirsty Thursday over a ten-cup beer pong game, you prrrrobably should've been losing your fucking shit at SAY WHAT!?'s opening event instead. If you missed it, you're a twat. But we're doing another on the third Thursday of next month (also on the 18th).

Come dance with me next month. Every publicity-hungry person says this, but I'd love to meet'cha. Unless you're a tool. Then I don't. But come anyway and smile pretty for the camera!

If you want to check out the photos from last night, I posted them in this album:

SAY WHAT!? Opening party tomorrow night, zomg

2010-02-17T12:22:00.000-08:00

(Click to go to event)
I know you're all mad bummed about the whole Waid's permanent 21+ hoobajabba, but just in time for Say What!? to come about, yeah? If you remember Club Pop, which unfortunately I don't because I was too busy eating Tim's Chips and playing World of Warcraft during that era, then you'll probably dig Say What. In fact, you better, because Leta and I are going to risk our freedom and dignity from mall security to litter Alderwood in flyers this afternoon.

If you have no idea what I'm jabbering about, Say What is basically the reincarnated Club Pop, only about half a million times bigger and better than before. It's a completely 18+ electronic dance powwow hosted by Shameless and Out For Stardom on the third Thursday of every month at Chop Suey which, by the way, means it's TOMORROW. I know you're doing nothing for thirsty Thursday, so mosey on over because it's going to be a stupid blast.

Not to mention I'll be photographing!

Presale tickets may be purchased here.
$7 Before 10pm, $10 after

LOSE YOUR FUCKING SHIT

2010-02-13T17:35:00.001-08:00

Got this in my email this morning. Not quite as smashing as the My Bloody Valentine promo video Joe B and Miles put together, but this one has profanities. Kick ass. Here be the video for Say What!? which is going down THIS coming Thursday at Chop Suey.

Buggin' about the whole 21+ thing at Waid's House of Love? Relax, punk. Say What!? is 18+ and has way more electronic music than you can handle.

Lose your fucking shit:

My Bloody Valentine's Day Cookies are Shameless

2010-02-04T16:15:00.000-08:00

I could never turn down an event or throw away a flyer if there were heart-shaped cookies involved. Courtesy of Baker Joe B.

The Space Hipsters

2010-01-31T19:57:00.001-08:00

Photo of the weekend.. Let me explain.. Hipsters blow harder than this party we went to on Friday night did.. But space hipsters? Now that's a mildly respectable theme for a powwow in the U-district. This stupid house was so packed full of bros and oysters dressed like Gaga that we could barely breathe, let alone find each other by the time the hipster fun police arrived.

Anyway, we found this sweet hipster SPACE blanket invisibility cyb0rg cloak from SPACE and got mad hype on it, rubbing it all over each other to create static made by rocket science and throwing it at strangers who couldn't do anything about it because they were rendered immobile by fat chicks. The model is Isaiah.

You can view the rest of this album here:

Shameless presents: MY BLOODY VALENTINE (feb. 12th)

2010-01-31T16:05:00.000-08:00

If only, if only I wasn't still a small child and unable to attend this event. However, if you're of age, I suggest you attend My Bloody Valentine at Chop Suey on the 12th. If you have no Valentine this year, that'll give you a perfect opportunity to pick up some hot as hell raver chick two days prior! Or you could just send out a "mating call" via online dating like this gorgeous crazy-in-love couple in the promo video did:

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1323386610523&oid=225271706371

Last Night Blue the reader board

2010-01-19T00:13:00.000-08:00

My buddy Tyson made this with some spray paint and whatever the hell it's sprayed on. Cardboard or something. Anyway, pretty clever, but I think the only people who are ever going to see it are the cops that bus our 6-person gin and juicebox pasta parties.